"I told you I don't believe in romance anymore, why do you keep sending me flowers?"
The days are hard but the nights are harder when you are left with something you don't think you deserve or you don't believe in. I mean you could love me and I could ruin it. I could ruin it like I ruin everything. Some people used to call me a catalyst, but I don't buy it, not at all. If I'm indeed one catalyst, then to look at it through my perception, I am..irrevocably the one for the worst things that happen.
The autumn sun takes no prisoners, but allows us to laze around in her glow without perspiring, just admiring the weather as it changes all season long. I never took advantage of this. I sat within the four walls and tried to let my woes be buried in the cement and the fashioned walls surrounding me. So am I getting consistently wrong in my methods to cure myself, my soul! Is anyone ever right? Well that doesn't really matter so much now..
The night's getting in its own foes and harmful woes, but who knows? May be one day I'll get out of here. I like talking to you at night..Is it a dream in dream? Or an hallucination? what is it that's making me feel as if I am walking, breathing, living sin. And you're just the first human being in the garden of Eden.
To taste knowledge, you have to realize, there is fault, and lies, and breaking of the rules. I realized that I need you, and I need you in this way. You may continue talking to me. If not forever, then just for today.
But with this captive soul of mine, you will soon grow tired of me as though your limbs will not be able to move. You will become like the whooping willow; crying forever, rooted in ground unwillingly, calling out for something lost. I always lose that something, because it loses me.. No one is ever willing to give themselves to me, like I do for them. You are not special, but I have loved you, or rather I will have loved you when this happens. Its unfair and bitter to love with greed but, the way you are, makes me do such sins!
The time stirred like never before, as our first date had approached and this is all that is in my head. Why not just go to sleep right away?
It was past midnight...and I woke up gasping you were never here and I realized I may perpetuate my own loneliness.
P.S. "You can keep sending me flowers, I am in Love with you.."
To write of pain and love in the same breath..to paint a picture that neither taints your pain nor glorifies your hurt..to remember love and yet not dismiss the sorrow..only you,my dearest, can create this:)The warrior finally picks up his sword..Loved every word and emotion that you put across:):)Keep writing:)Love,the big P
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