It happens to all of us. At sometime or the other. Sometimes sooner than later. However, hardly a few of us admit to it. Some I know even relish relationships that prevent them from growing. There are some who take it to another extreme and disregard everything because it could lead to Emotional Atyachar and end up committing it upon themselves.
It happens with the parents who say their kids should not be selfish and marry someone they find unsuitable or the husband who asks the woman to not work as it is her higher duty to take care of her helpless kid, or the mother who does not let her kid play as it could get hurt, everywhere where the power balance is disturbed by all those who thrust their views upon an unsuspecting soul. The ones that completely rework your personality when you are not even aware of it happening.
The worst possible scenario is when you know it is happening but cannot get out of it. When you are helpless. As you don't want to lose what you have. Something that defines you. It could be in a job you hate with a boss you detest but a pay you love. It could be a mother in law you hate but a husband you love. Somewhere, somehow...
The ones that change who you are, your definitions of right and wrong and ultimately, affect the very core of your being. What do we do when we know we are being manipulated? Just go with the flow. Like the goat that is led on by the butcher. Death is not the worst thing that can happen to a human being. For after you die, you are not going to know what is happening around you. But this emotional atyachar is going to kill you in the worst possible way. Slowly remove traces of your personality and simply kill who you are.
How do you combat it? Rather, how do you identify when it is a case of atyachar and when it is a case of genuine concern? There is but a thin line between a bear hug and a deathly embrace. How do you distinguish?How do you know if it is the rework of a skilled hand on a piece of gold or if it is the deathly blow of an anvil to break a work of art into pieces?
I have thought about it long and hard (Like all questions in life) and I have come to the conclusion that, you cant fight fate. You cant have a perfect life. Someone would manipulate you. Someone would try to give you their idea of happiness and expect you live their dream which you detest. But then, whether you like it or not, you are the master of your fate. Unless you stand up for yourself, nothing is going to help you. There are no knights in shining armors. Those armors are rusting in a castle in your mind waiting for you to clean them up and wear them.
Waiting, for the right hand that can recreate and not destroy. You have the power and the responsibility that comes with it. To defend. To not maim or destroy. To identify it is the idea that your fight is against and not the human being. To accept that it takes all of them to make the world. To let live and learn - to survive without falling for the ploy to be accepted as someone you are not but should ideally be. To be who you are without slowly turning into a monster of self defense. For sometimes in defense, you end up offending more than you initially intended to, without realizing it...
